My owner Anya bought me from the pet store over a year ago, when I was still a baby. She and her two boisterous kids picked me because I was the least expensive hamster. After the ten minute drive we were home, and I was thankful to discover that they had prepared my new aquarium for me in advance. Everything was thoughtfully accounted for: the warm bedding, the metal wheel, my plastic igloo, water, food pellets. If I was like my siblings back at the pet store, I would have been thrilled to my little tailbone to have Anya as my owner. Unfortunately for me, I was not like the others and when the children and their mother went to bed, I set myself to the arduous task of planning an escape. You see – I wanted to be free.
Time went by and I developed several highly specialized skills to carry out my plan. With my razor-sharp claws I learned to climb the slick glass walls of my confinement. I would labor tirelessly, night after night, trying to climb higher and higher. Anya suspected nothing because her limited visual perception made it seem that I only floundered helplessly against the walls of the cage, unable to make any real progress. My movements were so minute that nobody noticed what was going on.
Later I enhanced my repertoire by learning how to balance on top of the spinning wheel. This was a great accomplishment because I was able to pull myself up without causing the wheel to spin, and then from it I could grab the side of the open aquarium and climb out. In fact, this is how I escaped. Twice! What transpired during those few days of freedom shall go down with me to the grave untold. But eventually I was cornered and the well-meaning albeit deceived owners put me back into my “home”.
Having tasted freedom twice, I was compelled to try to achieve it again. I learned how to climb up my water bottle, grasping the ring of the lid and pulling towards the top of the cage. The problem here was that beyond the rim, the rest of the bottle was completely smooth, with no grips to hold on to. I realized that freedom could be achieved only through patient perseverance, and began carving out hand-holds in the bottle using my claws. When they’d wear from the work I had to rest for several days until they’d grow back out. Given this method, my calculations told me that within another 349 days I would reach the necessary depth of hold to be able to scale the bottle and climb out. I fell into a good rhythm, working on this daily, and by day 238 I felt confident that my plan was going to work.
But then the unthinkable happened.
Anya decided to buy me a new cage. Granted, this new one was a three-story multi-colored kaleidoscope of hamster entertainment. Anya and her children made a big deal about the upgrades and talked at lengths about improving my quality of life, both physical and emotional.
I could have easily settled there and made my home in the warm, cozy fabric strips on the ground level. But again that pesky need for freedom got in the way. And so, the very first evening I did a thorough inspection of my new living quarters and found several weak spots. The most obvious one was the metal bars of the cage itself. Given my rate of chew, I calculated that I would break out of this “home” within four months. Encouraged by this new development, I began chewing that same night.
I will never forget the expression on Anya’s face as she peered at me while I was gnawing on the green metal. She looked sad, disappointed and slightly disgusted. I could have gotten angry at her for judging me, but I didn’t. You see, she does not know herself well. It is obvious to me that she bought me the new cage not out of the kindness of her heart, but because of the guilt that she felt about keeping me under lock and key in the first place. She also relates to me on a deeper level and feels that my physical imprisonment resembles her spiritual state. Since I understand this and she does not, I shouldn’t hold her disgusted scowl against her.
In fact, when all is said and done, I am quite fond of my owner. I do not take her quirks personally, because she cannot help it. Her narrow-minded thinking is inherent to the human condition.
33 comments
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June 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm
A Few Words about Suzy « This Woman's Musings
[…] 25,358 hits « Dear God A Few Words about Anya » […]
June 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm
chaoticscribbles
You pampered so and so, getting a three story mansion of a cage. My two would never be so lucky 😛 freedom will be yours one day Suzy (shh don’t tell Anya that) don’t give up, keep trying!
June 21, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Anya
Thank you for the encouragement! It’s tough (even with the mansion), but I know that the day will come…
June 21, 2012 at 2:40 pm
portiagreenidge
That was a very entertaining read and very well written, I love it. I got so engrossed in reading the outcome that I am late in getting dinner ready.
June 21, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Anya
Thank you 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 5:20 pm
TurnTronics
Nice story. Pretty funny reading from both perspectives 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm
mlshiira
You must convince your owner to get you a copy of the book I, Houdini by Lynne Reid Banks to read (yes, read, not eat). It would give you a host of new hamster escape ideas.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-houdini-lynne-reid-banks/1100289771?ean=9780440419242
June 21, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Anya
After I chew myself to liberty, I will stop by Barnes and Noble myself, and pick up a copy!
June 21, 2012 at 6:27 pm
Scintillatebrightly
So are you gonna let the hamster go?
June 21, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Anya
No, I think deep down inside she would miss us…
June 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Suzanna Kellye
I always wondered why our guinea pigs chewed on their cages. They never gave up & finally died, brokenhearted, of old age. Still trapped in a prison of my making. I’m so ashamed. BTW, well written.
June 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Anya
Yes, indeed. But maybe chewing on things was their way of expression love and affection towards their owner? Maybe they were frustrated by their inability to express themselves verbally, and hoped that at least their chewing would show you how much they really appreciated all of your care?
June 21, 2012 at 7:08 pm
chuu2venge
This is really funny, and easy to relate to. I like both perspectives of this.
June 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Anya
It’s funny because I found that I could almost relate MORE to Suzy’s post than my own 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 8:07 pm
chuu2venge
to tell the truth, same here. Ultimate freedom will always feel better than the biggest of cares. That is, once you get used to predators, having to find your own food, and finding and protecting your den. I guess there must be a human equivalence of total freedom. Maybe like…getting away from it all and camping out for a few days.
June 21, 2012 at 8:21 pm
Anya
Camping is the answer to most of today’s social ills. But if camping doesn’t work, there’s always chocolate…
June 21, 2012 at 8:43 pm
chuu2venge
Mmm, good ol chocolate. Wait, I’m a guy. Does it still count?
June 21, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Anya
I think it still counts 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 8:23 pm
MoonWynd Studio
Heelarious and adorable. I had no idea a lowly hamster had such deep thought patterns! 😉 But I do know they are cute as a button.
June 21, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Anya
They want us to think they are lowly so that we don’t suspect anything 🙂
June 21, 2012 at 8:30 pm
MoonWynd Studio
heehee yeah, probably! I do also know they love to escape, the sneaky little things! So gentle and sweet they are. ;-)))
June 22, 2012 at 3:22 am
TSakhi
Suzy in her little way has taught me to keep on trying under the most stringent situations..Thank Anya
June 22, 2012 at 5:50 am
shannmark
awesome posts! I love the owner and hamster perspectives!
June 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Anya
Thank you – it’s always curious to imagine what the pets might be thinking about US…
June 22, 2012 at 6:43 am
Lieve
Nice story!
June 22, 2012 at 6:45 am
Lisa
Please get your hamster a companion. It is heartbreaking to think of it trying to get out of its empty mansion.
June 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Anya
I am thinking of getting her some friends rats – do you think that might work?
June 22, 2012 at 6:52 am
sqeekchair
Suzy: Magnificent strength, will & determination you so duteously practice! No matter how “little” our efforts might seem, against the Goliath’s waiting for us at every turn, there is no such thing! It is truly the journey, not the destination that is so critical- Yes, that’s an Oprah meme, but this amplifies the cliche. Thank you- my hope of retiring from dead-end office jobs and writing full-time- no matter how insignificant my progress “appears,” it couldn’t be further from the truth.
June 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Anya
Yes, Suzy is very determined. We could learn a lot from her, and I think we already are…
June 22, 2012 at 7:09 am
engineerzero
I let my hamsters and mice run loose for a couple hours a day. Sure, you need to supervise them at the beginning, but after a while they don’t run and hide, in fact they like to hang around you. (Snackies!)
I’ve never had much of a problem with chewing, and their droppings are so small and dry quickly that there is no staining problem.
The biggest problem is to keep from squashing them. I have one mouse who likes to hide under seat cushions. One time she even buried herself inside the styrofoam pellets of my ‘bean bag chair’ — so look before you sit!
It’s amazing how much personality these little critters have, once you start treating them the way you’d like to be treated if you were in their position.
June 22, 2012 at 9:56 am
Anya
It’s very true about the personality. Once we got our hamster the new cage set-up, her character came forth even more vividly than before. I think it’s a great idea to let them run loose for a while – it’d help them get exercise and keep them from getting bored. But I’d be afraid that the hamster would run under/behind heavy furniture, and then it’d be tricky getting her out…
June 24, 2012 at 8:40 pm
mznappylove1
Well written and I kinda want Suzy to get free.. But then agian I wouldn’t want a hamster running free in my house !
July 16, 2012 at 7:33 am
Anya
Yes, that’s the catch 🙂